What--If Anything--Went Wrong?

Maybe it's just the hangover talking, but I'm beginning to reassess a few things.  During the back and forth about calling the election for Obama between Karl Rove and one of the interchangeable blonde bimbos on Fox News, I had some heretical thoughts.  Dad was weeping into an empty tumbler that had four fingers of scotch in it a few minutes earlier.  Could it really be that more Americans preferred the current occupant of the White House to the guy running against him?  It seems so.  While most of my acquaintances from Party HQ speculated about busloads of jihadis who voted at multiple swing state precincts, my thoughts were more introspective.  I looked at Dad with new, yet older, eyes, and saw a bitter partisan whose resentment blinded him to facts that were directly in front of him--facts he walked into face first on election night.  I could not cry with him, because I didn't know what I would be lamenting.

I sense a change of direction in this blog.  I'm a champion brachiator, and I grab the branch that's there, or I'd fall to the ground.  Reality, even when it's an unwelcome surprise, is better than self-delusion.  More later.

Sorry, Dad.

FiveThirtyHate

Are you as angry with liberal hackmeister Nate Silver as I am?  This guy takes data, sends it through his Democratic spin cycle, and thinks he's brainwashing the electorate into voting for President Poopy-Pants.  I don't care what the polls say, because they're all skewed.  No way is that magic underwear going to fail.  It's gonna be Romney-Ryan--they said so.

I'm going over to Dad's place after the polls close for a victory party.  The banana liqueur will flow like scotch!  (Hey, we're not Mormons.)  I'm going to tweet Silver all night, taunting him about his ridiculous "model" which consists of calling DNC HQ and asking what numbers to publish.  Seriously, this guy is predicting that candidates will get, for instance, 294.3 electoral votes!  You don't need a PhD in mathematics to know that's gotta be wrong.

And after all, we've got the ground game going.  We send out robocalls to Democrats telling them to report to the wrong polling place, or on the wrong day.  We throw out Democratic registrations, provisional ballots, and absentee ballots.  We're suppressing every vote we can right into the ground, and it's no game.  Democracy is OK as long as we win, but if it looks like we won't win a fair election, then fuck democracy.  That's what Dad says, and he's hit the minority voter on the head.  Really, he just hit a minority voter on the head--he was trying to vote early.  Can't have that.